SOON!

Yes, my sister is getting married in a real-soon time. I don't know what I should feel because I feel sad and happy at the same time. It's a mix feeling.

Every time I think about it, sadness is the major feeling that I feel. We have lived for 20 years together and now she is going to live with someone else. We won't live together anymore and she will have another different priority.

Hahaha, maybe you think I am overthinking and over-worry-ing. She is just getting married and you still can meet her. Maybe you will think about that, right?

Yes, I am trying to think about that too! But I realise that my sisters and brother play a big role in my life, besides parents. I share my life with them, share everything with them. They are a great advisor too. Although sometimes they annoy me or make me angry, but those feelings didn't last. Because the next minute, you can find us laughing together. I share my crazyness, my annoying-thing, my not-funny-joke, my silly-thing with them. Without them I am not who I am today.

Maybe my biggest fear is to be lonely and I am afraid it will be difficult for us to have quality time together. I am also not ready for the changing situation, I feel like it is really really fast. Can you imagine when you are really close to someone, then you have to be separated? Thanks to technology, we can still keep in touch, but it still feels different (gadget touch and human touch).

My first older sister is getting married soon. My second older sister is still in Korea pursuing her Master degree and probably work there after that. And actually I have a plan to study abroad. But I am also thinking about my parents. Yes they obviously said don't worry about them, you have to take the chance for better future (such as study abroad), but still I don't want to leave them alone. They have accompany me to grow up and I also want to be beside and accompany them to grow old. After thinking about those stuffs above, it becomes harder to decide to keep on my plan. I just surrender to God for what is best for my future. I know my hope will never be wasted and his plan is the best for me in the best time.

This is the reality that I have to live in and accept. This is life, people come and go but memories stay forever. Actually besides my sadness, I am happy for them because after 11 years of relationship finally they decide to marry each other. I am happy because they are happy. I hope they will become a great family in the future with cute son and daughter that I will play with! And they are also my couple-model, I learned a lot from them about how to be in a relationship :) They are always there for each other.

Yeah now I am just enjoying the very last moment live together with my first and second older sisters under the same roof and enjoying every moment together with my family. I know that it will be different after that but yeah I have to go through it with a big smile and big heart! I won't get the same moment twice in my life because at the end of the day we just have one life to be lived.

I will end this blog with my favourite Bible quotes from Jeremiah 29:11.

Welcome to the jungle of life!

Amelia Stephanie